Hello all,
This post is difficult for me because it is so personal. But nothing is too personal for a cult leader to use to manipulate their congregation . If you remember from one of my earlier posts, Witchcraft is in operation when you see these three tactics being used, MANIPULATION, INTIMIDATION, AND DOMINATION.
Deborah (DeborJah)Taylor (Jahwah's Little Flock of Overcomers in Moab, Utah), used all these tactics when she forced me to write all the members of my immediate family and reveal that my father had sexually abused me for years. I had forgiven my father years earlier but I was still having problems in my marriage re: self esteem issues, intimacy issues and trust issues. I believed that I could trust my Pastor/Minister/Spiritual Leader or I never would have gone to her for help. At the time, both of my little girls were sick with pneumonia and were very ill, I was scared for them. Deborah(DeborJah)Taylor (Jahwah's Little Flock of overcomers in Moab, Utah)told me that Jahwah had made them sick because I was hiding or covering up for my father's sin. She told me that if I didn't send this letter before Passover that Jahwah was going to kill my two little girls as punishment for my disobedience. I was absolutely devastated. I SCREAMED. I CRIED. I BEGGED. It did no good. I had to decide between my father, whom I loved very much, and my two helpless , innocent ,little girls. I sent the letter, which Deborah(DeborJah)Taylor (Jahwah's Little Flock of Overcomers in Moab Utah)demanded to re-write because my version was not harsh enough "To save his soul".
Naturally my family would have nothing to do with me. By the time we started coming out of the cult JAHWAH'S LITTLE FLOCK OF OVERCOMERS, my father was very ill with cancer. I tried to communicate with him by phone, but he would not return my calls. We returned home to Texas and after getting settled in, I thought I would visit my parents home and try to make peace. But my Father died before I could make peace or tell them I was sorry for letting someone scare me into hurting my family. I was not allowed to attend the funeral or the burial and my Mother and siblings will not speak to me.
The poem you are about to read came to me in my sleep, amidst the nightmares haunted by a wolf in sheep's clothing.
GUILT
Copyright 2009 Lisa M. Wilson
Guilt, like a knife buried to the hilt,
pierces deep, so deep I can not breathe.
The blade meant for Eglon, has instead found me.
I had forgiven,
but was driven,
to deliver the blow,
that would bring him low,
why I listened to the witch
I do not know.
The straight path behind,
has turned into a crooked road before me,
the fog of despair so thick, I can not see.
I am filled with gloom as I stand
at the foot of my fathers tomb.
Guilt, like a blade that my own hands have made,
pierces deep, so deep that I can not breathe.
My soul flows slowly out the hole,
til nothing is left and I am bereft.
All that remains is the shell,
the rest must be in Hell.
If anyone can save me now,
I don't see how.
To posess the Light,
I'll have to fight,
with all my might,
against the Creature of the night.
Maybe then HE will forgive my sin,
and heal the hole left in my soul.
Guilt, like a dagger that made me stagger,
is not from above,
is not of Love.
Guilt, like a sword, is not from the Lord,
who did pay the price that I might have Life.
Guilt, like a spear, brings nothing but fear,
proves in fact that the enemy is near.
As Night gives way to Day,
here among the trees,
I drop to my knees,
my face to the ground,
my Saviour I have found,
never again will I give in,
to the voice that leads to sin.
Guilt, like a knife,
like a blade,
like a dagger,
like a sword,
like a spear,
was defeated once for all on the Cross of Calvary.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Characteristics of a Narcissist
Hello everyone ! after doing a lot of reading about cult leaders and spiritual abusers, I came across one commonality most of them share, Narcissisim. The narcissist is an extemely controlling personality that in effect must be worshipped in order not to feel their own shame. Narcissists are typically people who believe they are greater than everyone else, can do everything better than anyone else, know more than everyone else, have suffered more than or achieved more than anyone else. This definately describes Deborah ( DeborJah ) Taylor (Jahwah's Little Flock of Overcomers in Moab, Utah). It didn't matter what it was....one of the Ladies first attempts at making jelly ( " I'm sure it's not as good as mine " ) to which the young woman replied " I'm sure it's not ", someone once complimented my spaghetti, to which she replied " it can't be as good as mine, I use red wine ", No one could play volleyball right, none of the Ladies knew how to take care of their man the way SHE took care of hers, none of the parents knew how to PROPERLY care for their children the way SHE took care, of hers,no one could sing or arrange music as well as SHE could, no one could handle their money as well as SHE could, and above all ......NO ONE COULD INTERPRET THE WORD OR HEAR FROM THE FATHER AS CLEARLY AS SHE COULD, IF AT ALL!! Just like the true Narcissist, Deborah (Deborjah)Taylor (Jahwah's Little Flock of Overcomers in Moab Utah )declares that every word out of her mouth is straight from the mouth of Jahwah, to disagree with her is equated with blaspheming the Holy Spirit. one of her famous quotes is " Not even the angels in heaven would dare to speak against "The Mouthpiece of Jahwah !" WOW! THAT'LL SHUT A PERSON UP IN A HURRY !!
Below is a list of Narcissistic traits common to many cult leaders and spiritual abusers. Beware of the Narcissist in sheeps clothing !
What follows is a check list of character traits used to identify Narcissistic Personality. If your pastor or someone else you know can be characterized by a majority of these realize you have a major challenge on your hands. This check list should be given to those who have had the closest continual contact with the narcissist. Take into consideration that some people whom the narcissist has surrounded himself with will be blind to all these, as they have either become co-dependent with the narcissist, or have blind loyalty to the ‘position of pastor.’
Self-centered. His needs are paramount and take precedence over the church
No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds. Will not offer heartfelt apologies of ask forgiveness.
Unreliable, undependable. Will change his mind and reverse decisions at will
Does not care about the consequences of his actions—may not even understand the connection
Projects his faults on to others. High blaming behavior; never his fault
Little if any conscience. Will do most anything he thinks will not be discovered. May ask staff to fudge the books.
Insensitive to needs and feelings of others
Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others
Low stress tolerance. Easy to provoke into anger
People are to be manipulated for his needs, accomplishing his desires
Rationalizes easily. Twists conversation to his gain at other’s expense. If trapped, keeps talking, changes the subject or gets angry
Pathological lying. Will lie if he thinks it will further his image and if he doesn’t think it will be discovered. When lies are followed up on will imply that the other person is mistaken, and that he never said the lie in the first place
Tremendous need to control situations, conversations, and group meetings
No real values. Mostly situational
Often perceived as caring and understanding and uses this to manipulate
Angry, rapidly changing moods
Does not share ideas, feelings, emotions
Conversation controller. Must have the first and last word
Is very slow to forgive others. Hangs onto resentment
Secret life. Hides money, friends, activities
Likes annoying and provoking others. Likes to create chaos and disrupt for no reason
Moody - switches from nice guy to anger without much provocation
Seldom expresses appreciation unless he is buttering the person up for further use
Grandiose. Convinced he knows more than others and is correct in all he does
Lacks ability to see how he comes across to others. Defensive when confronted with his behavior. Never his fault
Can get emotional, tearful. This is about show or frustration rather than sorrow
He breaks woman's spirits to keep them dependent
Needs threats, intimidations to keep others close to him
Highly contradictory
Convincing. Must convince people to side with him
Hides his real self. Always “on”, playing the part when in public
Kind only if he's getting from you what he wants
He has to be right. He has to win. He has to look good
He announces, not discusses. He tells, not asks
Does not discuss openly, has a hidden agenda
Controls money of others but spends freely on himself
Unilateral condition of, "I'm OK and justified so I don't need to hear your position or ideas."
Always feels misunderstood
You feel miserable with this person. He drains you
Does not listen because he does not care
Is not interested in problem-solving
Very good at reading people, so he can manipulate them
Will exaggerate and brag about past accomplishments
Concerned with getting what he wants NOW—immediately
Will not want to share his pulpit/platform with others
Will be envious of any other staff person who is loved or highly respected by the congregation
Will be overly concerned with the ‘image’ of the church building/bulletins etc.
Feels that he has been taken advantage of over and over again—’knife in the back syndrome.’
Dress may change based on whomever is his latest idol
Spend long hours ‘doing church’, but little will be accomplished.
Below is a list of Narcissistic traits common to many cult leaders and spiritual abusers. Beware of the Narcissist in sheeps clothing !
What follows is a check list of character traits used to identify Narcissistic Personality. If your pastor or someone else you know can be characterized by a majority of these realize you have a major challenge on your hands. This check list should be given to those who have had the closest continual contact with the narcissist. Take into consideration that some people whom the narcissist has surrounded himself with will be blind to all these, as they have either become co-dependent with the narcissist, or have blind loyalty to the ‘position of pastor.’
Self-centered. His needs are paramount and take precedence over the church
No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds. Will not offer heartfelt apologies of ask forgiveness.
Unreliable, undependable. Will change his mind and reverse decisions at will
Does not care about the consequences of his actions—may not even understand the connection
Projects his faults on to others. High blaming behavior; never his fault
Little if any conscience. Will do most anything he thinks will not be discovered. May ask staff to fudge the books.
Insensitive to needs and feelings of others
Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others
Low stress tolerance. Easy to provoke into anger
People are to be manipulated for his needs, accomplishing his desires
Rationalizes easily. Twists conversation to his gain at other’s expense. If trapped, keeps talking, changes the subject or gets angry
Pathological lying. Will lie if he thinks it will further his image and if he doesn’t think it will be discovered. When lies are followed up on will imply that the other person is mistaken, and that he never said the lie in the first place
Tremendous need to control situations, conversations, and group meetings
No real values. Mostly situational
Often perceived as caring and understanding and uses this to manipulate
Angry, rapidly changing moods
Does not share ideas, feelings, emotions
Conversation controller. Must have the first and last word
Is very slow to forgive others. Hangs onto resentment
Secret life. Hides money, friends, activities
Likes annoying and provoking others. Likes to create chaos and disrupt for no reason
Moody - switches from nice guy to anger without much provocation
Seldom expresses appreciation unless he is buttering the person up for further use
Grandiose. Convinced he knows more than others and is correct in all he does
Lacks ability to see how he comes across to others. Defensive when confronted with his behavior. Never his fault
Can get emotional, tearful. This is about show or frustration rather than sorrow
He breaks woman's spirits to keep them dependent
Needs threats, intimidations to keep others close to him
Highly contradictory
Convincing. Must convince people to side with him
Hides his real self. Always “on”, playing the part when in public
Kind only if he's getting from you what he wants
He has to be right. He has to win. He has to look good
He announces, not discusses. He tells, not asks
Does not discuss openly, has a hidden agenda
Controls money of others but spends freely on himself
Unilateral condition of, "I'm OK and justified so I don't need to hear your position or ideas."
Always feels misunderstood
You feel miserable with this person. He drains you
Does not listen because he does not care
Is not interested in problem-solving
Very good at reading people, so he can manipulate them
Will exaggerate and brag about past accomplishments
Concerned with getting what he wants NOW—immediately
Will not want to share his pulpit/platform with others
Will be envious of any other staff person who is loved or highly respected by the congregation
Will be overly concerned with the ‘image’ of the church building/bulletins etc.
Feels that he has been taken advantage of over and over again—’knife in the back syndrome.’
Dress may change based on whomever is his latest idol
Spend long hours ‘doing church’, but little will be accomplished.
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